Waiting.

I have to say that the worst part of this whole experience has been the waiting. We’ve waited to hear back from pathology reports, CT Scans, blood tests, analysis’s and waited for all kinds of appointments. Right now, we’re waiting to meet the new Urologist that would be performing the RPLND surgery on Casey if he decides he’s a good candidate. That’s not until Next Friday. Then we’ll wait to have the surgery scheduled. Then we’ll wait for Pathology results to find out if he will still need Chemo after the surgery.  The waiting only intensifies my worry.  Casey is very laid back, he doesn’t worry a lot, I on the other hand worry over EVERYTHING. This is like my worst nightmare. I’ve had to be put on anxiety medication just to be able to deal with the waiting.

Today, we talked to the technician who processed Casey’s sperm banking samples. The samples would only be good for IVF or In vitro fertilization because the freezing of the samples kills off about 50% of the sperm and unfortunately Casey has low motility and low concentration already. IVF is a very costly procedure, approximately $12,000. My insurance would cover a onetime fee of $5,000 towards the procedure. So, she suggested we see a Fertility Specialist. We’ll see this new Doctor on November 30^th, to see exactly what our options are at this point. More waiting and worrying.

I never realized how much of our time would be spent waiting and worrying. It’s a struggle to stay positive amongst everything that is happening. However, we got amazing news yesterday that the Nash HealthCare System has decided to reduce our bill due to catastrophic loss and instead of owing them $11,000 we will only be responsible for $3,900. We still owe the surgeon $3,000 and the various other medical professionals approximately another $1,000 but that reduced our debt by almost 50%. It was an amazingly kind gift and we are so very grateful.

I can’t help but worry, worrying for me is like breathing but I still have Hope. Learning to keep that Hope alive is turning out to be a struggle but I keep reminding myself everyday when I wake up to my wonderful husband smiling at me telling me it’s time to wake up and giving me kisses that no matter what happens and how much it costs… Ultimately the only important thing is that Casey is cured and that hopefully we will have many more happy years to make up for one extremely bad year.

Tagged as: Cancer, fertility, medical bills, RPLND, rplnd surgery, testic, testicular cancer